Between the sheets: Sex Surveys 2007

A whole lot of what will happen in 2008 is gleaned from what we were told in 2007. Before we all get into the humdrum of the new year, here’s a look at that they say happened, sexually, in 2007.
Sex! We're loving it, say urban Indians
New Delhi: Urban Indians have one of the most exciting sex lives in the world and are also the most open lovers in the world when it comes to talking to partners about sex, says a new global survey.
Almost three-quarters (74 per cent) of Indians surveyed are comfortable with telling their partners what they like in bed way above the global average of 58 per cent and the UK with just 49 per cent, says the Durex ‘Sexual Wellbeing Global Survey’.
The survey further points out that two-third of Indians (68 per cent) think their love lives are exciting, a sharp contrast with 38 per cent for English lovers and 36 per cent for famed lovers in France. Moreover, 63 per cent of Indians say they have enough variety, compared with 47 per cent in the UK and just 9 per cent in Japan.
The Greeks (76 per cent) and Mexicans (80 per cent) are the only two countries to have a more exciting sex life than Indians. The survey covered more than 26,000 people online across 26 countries talking about every aspect of their sex lives.
The survey throws up interesting trends showing that Indians do not shy away from trying out new things and style in the bedroom.
”Indian bedrooms are the scenes of a range of antics for some, with sensual massage (55 per cent), sexual fantasies (58 per cent) and looking at erotic materials (55 per cent) at the top of the menu. More than a third of Indians also love to include role play (37 per cent) and wearing sexy underwear (34 per cent).”
The survey results also point to Indians increasingly becoming open to using sex toys to spice up their sex lives.
“Almost six in 10 (57 per cent) Indians think it is acceptable for products aimed at improving sex lives to be available in mainstream stores. Currently just 9 per cent of Indians use vibrators compared to 21 per cent globally although 13 per cent of Indians are interested to have a try,” the survey said.
The survey said Indians are using more of lubricants to make sex more enjoyable with 33 per cent of Indians using them more as a part of their sex lives which is similar to the global figure of 34 per cent.
Compared to most other nations, Indians seem a little reluctant to experiment. While 22 per cent of them would like to try massage oils, only 9 per cent are interested in an orgasm enhancing gel and just 7 per cent would consider aphrodisiacs or pheromones.
However, 57 per cent Indians believe that people will become more experimental in their sex lives over the next decade, boosted by information available on the Internet.
Fidelity is still something that Indians are proud of, shows the survey which said that Indians have had fewer sexual partners than most other countries. Indian men have averaged six lovers and women have averaged two, while in the UK the figures are 16 and 10 respectively. Globally men, on average, have 13 partners and women have seven.
When asked what would improve sex lives, Indians said that more romance (47 per cent), more fun (46 per cent) and being able to spend more time with their partners (44 per cent) would be among the top priorities, with 45 per cent of surveyed Indians wanting to increase their knowledge so as to make things better for their partner.
What makes a woman feel beautiful? Lips don't lie
London: The next time you want to make your woman feel beautiful, give her that perfect lover’s kiss, says a new poll.
The poll, conducted to determine as to what makes a woman feel beautiful, has revealed that a simple smooch from their man puts a spring in a girl’s step better more than anything else.
According to the survey of more than 1,000 British women aged over 18, a kiss from their man was preferable than lingerie, a shopping splurge and even sex.
Perfumes, jewellery and beauty treatments did not even feature in the top ten.
In the survey, more than 60 per cent women reported that a smacker on the lips from their man made them feel more attractive.
Second on the list was new underwear, followed by having sex.
Receiving a wolf whistle came fourth, followed by having a long soak in a bubble bath, going on a shopping spree and buying a new pair of shoes.
At number eight was applying a splash of colourful lipstick and next was a fat-burning gym workout, with a chocolate fix at tenth place.
The survey was carried out for cosmetic company Blistex.
“This research allows us a peek into what boosts women’s confidence,” The Sun quoted Nick Lang, Blistex spokesman, as saying.
"Little did we know something as simple as a passionate kiss could be enough to make women feel so beautiful,” Lang added.
Like pop? You're surely promiscuous
New Delhi: What kind of music do you like? Think twice before you answer. For, your taste for music is found to define your lifestyle, sexual behaviour and even financial status.
A research done at the University of Leicester has given new insights about linkages between one's taste in music and their various behaviours like sexual promiscuity, criminality and drug use.
The research shows followers of hiphop and dance music are more likely to have had multiple sex partners over the last five years and were among the biggest drug-takers. The people that like club music are also found to take drugs. On the other hand, people who prefer adult-pop and classical music are more likely to pay off their credit card bills on time.
"It comes out in the study that, in these types of music, fans score worse in various behaviours, such as criminality, sexual promiscuity and drug use," BBC quoted Dr Adrian North, the man who led the research, as saying.
The researchers interviewed about 2,500 people in this study. They answered questions on their living arrangements, political beliefs, education, work and pastimes. The researchers, however, acknowledge that some of these findings are related to age and social class.
It shows fans of every style of music are prone to taking drugs, with those who preferred DJ-based club music topping the list. Blues buffs are the most likely to have received a driving penalty.
Fans of musicals come out as the most mild-mannered group, with the lowest level of drug-taking and criminal acts. They also drink less regularly than other music fans, and are among the most likely to do charity work. As many as 34 per cent of fans of musicals like Grease do regular charity work.
The study also revealed strong links between one's educational qualifications and musical preferences. People with a PhD or Masters are more likely to enjoy opera, jazz, blues or classical music. Hip-hop fans were the most likely to have attended a fee-paying school.
In terms of financial status, fans of adult pop and classical music were found to be the most well-off. They are even more likely to pay off their credit card bills each month than the less solvent fans of hip-hop, rap, dance and club music.
Indians among oldest in the world to lose virginity
New Delhi: The Austrians taste it as early as at 17.3 years and the Americans at 18 years. But the people in Asian countries lose their virginity at a much older age. While the average age is 22.1 years for the Chinese and 23 years for Malaysians, the Indians go for it at an average age of 22.9 years.
These were the findings of a worldwide study of sexual behaviour and contraceptive use — called the 2007 Face of Global Sex report — which was published by Durex Network on Tuesday.
The report also states that teenagers are becoming more and more aware about possible repercussions of unsafe sex and are using contraception even during their first sexual encounter. In fact, the use of contraception in first sexual encounter has increased eight fold among today's teenagers as compared to those who are now aged 65 years or above.
The survey, which covered some 26,000 people in 26 countries, also says that about half of all women (just under 50 per cent) either regret or did not have happy memories of their first intercourse and compared to around a third (32 per cent) of men.
The survey says Malaysians were the oldest to lose their virginity at 23.0 years old, followed by Indians (22.9) Singaporeans (22.8), Chinese (22.1), Thais (20.5), Hong Kongers (20.2), Nigerians (19.7) and Japanese (19.4).
Austrians were the first to lose their virginity at 17.3 years old, followed by Brazilians (17.4), Germans (17.6), New Zealanders (17.8), Australians (17.9) and Americans (18.0). On the average, the age for first having sex was 19.25 years, the study says.
But despite waiting longer, Malaysians came top among those who said they were the most ready for sex (41.5 per cent), followed by the Dutch, Greeks, Americans and Australians.
In contrast, Japanese, Nigerians, Thais and Hong Kongers said were the least ready for first sexual experience, with less than 13 per cent saying they were comfortable with losing their virginity when they did.
Meanwhile, more than a third of Nigerians (37.5 percent) said they felt pressured into losing their virginity — by far the highest percentage.
The research also found that people who discuss about sex and sexual health with their parents and partner are more likely to use contraception. Moreover, women are 25 per cent more likely than men to take precautions when they lose their virginity.
Live-in relationships more likely to go nowhere
Melbourne: According to an Australian family researcher, men and women who start living together while still in the early stages of their relationship risk ending up single.
Ruth Weston, the principal research fellow at the Australian Institute of Family Studies, said that young people think the living together before marriage is "a fun thing to do", and believe in taking "each day as it comes".
However, she warns that this often results in hanging on for years in an unsuitable relationship.
As a result when they eventually break off, it might take them a long time to find a new partner. And, as far as women are concerned, it might also mean that they may have lost their chance of having children.
"In the old days people might go 'steady' but there was still opportunity to meet others. Now once you are living with someone you are cheating if you see someone else. When you cohabit it adds a sense of commitment to a relationship that might be going nowhere," Weston said.
The researchers analysed 2006 census data, which revealed that 35 per cent of women, and 41 percent of men aged 30 to 34, are single.
Among women aged 35-39, it is 31 per cent and for men 35 per cent.
"This is a lot of people in their mid- and late 30s without a partner, although some would have once had a partner," Weston said.
Analysis wherein it was found that marriage rates have been falling for decades while the cohabitation rate has risen for all age groups is published in Family Relationships Quarterly.
Weston said that since the last census, the divorce rate appears to have reached a plateau, or even fallen and living together has become more unstable. More people were splitting before they married.
She also said that the fragility of live-in relationships had contributed to a 15-year decline in partnering rates - the proportion of men and women in there 30s who had neither a spouse nor live-in partner. The fall in partnering rates was precipitous between 1996 and 2001 and had since slowed down but not reversed.
"The rate is still high in relation to what we know young people want," Weston said.
"They enter prematurely but can linger on and waste their time," she said.
The results of the analysis reveals that for the first time that almost as many men in their late 20s who have a partner are living with them rather than being married to them.
46 per cent of the partnered men aged 25-29 were cohabitors, up from 38 per cent in 2001. For partnered men in there early 20s, about 75 per cent were cohabitors.
Another researcher, Professor Janeen Baxter, of the University of Queensland, has shown that cohabitors may have at least one advantage over married couples - men do more housework than women.
She said there was "more equality in cohabiting relationships.
On wife beating and how women love it
On wife beating and how women love it
And it’s not to be confused with spanking. Two separate stories on how 37 per cent women in India face domestic violence and then strangely enough, 54 per cent women ok with wife beating too. And to top it, 66 per cent women enjoy their sex lives. Something just does not feel right here.
Love is a loser: lust tops people's reasons for sex
Washington: After exhaustively compiling a list of the 237 reasons why people have sex, researchers found that young men and women get intimate for mostly the same motivations.
It is more about lust in the body than a love connection in the heart.
US college-aged men and women agree on their top reasons for having sex: they were attracted to the person, they wanted to experience physical pleasure and “it feels good,” according to a peer-reviewed study in the August edition of Archives of Sexual Behavior. Twenty of the top 25 reasons given for having sex were the same for men and women.
Expressing love and showing affection were in the top 10 for both men and women, but they did take a back seat to the clear No. 1: ''I was attracted to the person.''
Researchers at the University of Texas spent five years and their own money to study the overlooked ''why'' behind sex while others were spending their time on the ''how.''
''It's refuted a lot of gender stereotypes ... that men only want sex for the physical pleasure and women want love,'' said University of Texas clinical psychology professor Cindy Meston, the study's co-author. ''That's not what I came up with in my findings.''
''The more we look, the more we find similarity,'' said Dr Irwin Goldstein, director of sexual medicine at Alvarado Hospital in San Diego. Goldstein, who was not part of Meston's study, said the Texas research made a lot of sense and adds to growing evidence that the vaunted differences in the genders may only be among people with sexual problems.
Meston and colleague David Buss first questioned 444 men and women–ranging in age from 17 to 52–to come up with a list of 237 distinct reasons people have sex.
Special: Can adultery save marriages?
Why get married? For human beings, marriage is such an unnatural state. If you want monogamy, it has been said, you should marry a swan. - Quentin Crisp, The Art of Celibacy
Mars-Venus, testosterone-estrogen, work husbands and wives, your space or mine… the War of the Sexes (they call it mating games) gets further convoluted as researchers come up with yet another, well, study.
Florida Atlantic University researchers Todd K Shackelford and Aaron T Goetz confirm what women knew for quite some time: human beings are not naturally monogamous, particularly if the being is a male.
After studying mating rituals like feather display and antler-butting techniques (in humans?), Shackelford and Goetz have come to the conclusion that males apparently compete with each other to deliver their sperm more effectively to females with multiple partners. Basically, it means that even after a male has selected his preferred partner, he will still go around and sleep with others.
All would have been fine if, like other animals, humans were a freely fornicating species too. However, while animals just ‘mate’, humans ‘marry’, and when you try polygamy while in a marriage, it is termed adultery. So far, polygamy seems to work for the other species. Can polygamy adultery, therefore, work for us too? Are our marriages and relationships breaking up because we are trying to force ourselves into a monogamous situation while our instincts are towards mating many? Can adultery - a little 'fun' on the side, 'excitement outside marriage' or whatever - save marriages and relationships?
Cheat for pleasure, repent in leisure?
We asked one of our relationship experts for his take on the entire humans-are-polygamous issue. "Such ideas that polygamy promotes a happy marriage should be immediately rubbished. To say adultery would make a marriage better is far-fetched. If someone is into adultery, then emotionally and physically you are involved with someone else; and it is not possible that your partner will be okay with this. Hiding it from your partner and doing it clandestinely takes all energies away that you should be putting into working out the differences in your marriage," says Dr Samir Parikh, psychiatrist, Max Health Care, N.Delhi.
However, all people are not that quick in dismissing the idea. For married-and-looking-for-fun blogger 'Shady Man', "Adultery in moderation can save a marriage." Ask him exactly how does one moderate 'cheating' on your partner and he says, "Moderation, when talking adultery, is when you sleep with another person but don't wake up together… Basically sex minus the intimacy can be good."
His fellow-female blogger, 'Serendipity' — 24-year-old, single, self-proclaimed Miss Promiscuous — agrees but with a twist, "If you are stuck in a loveless relationship, then adultery can bring back the passion. But I am not sure how it can save a marriage. See, adultery brings back the passion in your life — the passion you are incidentally not sharing with your partner — so it is good for you, but not necessarily for the other. At the end of the day, if you feel lust for someone else, you are not into your partner. People who say that an affair saved their relationship are just saying they are bored with their lives and looking for excuses. Personally speaking, I got bored, I felt passion for someone else and I left the relationship immediately."
Feeling itchy-scratchy?
Does the same apply to marriages: when you feel the itch, you scratch it and save yourself a divorce?
"Sleeping around is any day better than walking out on a relationship or marriage," adds Shady Man, "Marriage is a lot more than just sex… food, laughter…"
"Why not?" asks short-film director and married man, Uddhav Ghosh. "In our country, the family value system holds a premium. In many cases, the couple might outgrow each other but stick close only for the sake of either appearances or kids and other things. In such cases, sometimes, an affair can save the 'farce' of this marriage. And hey, if we were 'supposed' to be polygamous, where's the debate? That would be the rule then."
Recently married Anita* agrees with the adultery-can't-work-in-India angle. "If one were outside, perhaps adultery or having another partner or a diversion can be considered as an option to save your marriage. However, here you have to think of a thousand other things even if you think about doing something like this: there are parents, their friends, relatives, your friends, your maid… almost everyone else but the two people involved."